30. Call Me “Hey You!”
My mother-in-law insisted on being called Mrs. [X] while we were dating. As soon as we got engaged, she sat me down at her kitchen table and said, “Now, we can’t have you calling me Mrs. [X] anymore. That’s too formal for family. What do you want to call us?” I answered that I would be happy to call them by their first names. She replied that “the mister and I do not do first names.” I responded that I was uncomfortable calling them “mom” and “dad.”
Meanwhile, she introduced herself to my siblings and friends by her first name and never once corrected them. Annoyed by the inconsistency, I called her by her first name. She called my husband and complained I had disrespected her. When we sat down to talk it out, what I thought would be an airing of grief and reconciliation turned into a huge, heated argument. She finally screamed at me that I needed to “respect the pecking order of the human race!” My husband got involved at one point and asked her what I should call her and she said, “[husband]’s mother” or “hey you!” and hung up. So, “hey you” it was… until the day I got a divorce!